So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
do nipples grow back?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
