This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
