Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
