Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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