just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
