don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
