I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
