The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
