Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
