david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Pooping to opera.
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