no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
