I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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