woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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