I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
