We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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