And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
