I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
