roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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