And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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