And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
