I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
