and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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