I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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