just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize