officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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