hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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