Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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