you're like a bully in the Christmas story
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
