Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
