ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
