idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
