You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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