dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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