Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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