I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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