we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
