he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I lost the right to judge tonight
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
