If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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