dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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