just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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