I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
