What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
