She's JV to your varsity
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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