5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
smell my finger.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
