i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
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Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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