I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
