Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
