trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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