I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
