If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.