I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol