I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
