i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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