1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize