all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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