He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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