My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
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