Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize