everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
