I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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